The Cisco and Microsoft joint Cross-Animal Technology Project, a well-established player in the field of multi-species collaborative initiatives, is pleased to introduce its next project: a revolution in High Performance Computing (HPC): LOLCODE language bindings for the Message Passing Interface (MPI).

CATP believes that cats are natural predatory programmers.  Who better to take advantage of all the world's spare, unused computing cycles than cats?  They're at home when we're not.  They're clever, they can problem-solve, and they have lots of free time on their... paws.

To target cats, we needed a computing language that speaks their language.  Rather than create our own, we found that the brilliant researchers at LOLCODE continue to push the boundaries of human-cat collaborative programming.  We are therefore thrilled to bring the work of LOLCODE to the world of HPC.

The MPI LOLBINDINGS fit naturally within Cisco's "Internet of Everything" philosophy; we believe that everything, everywhere will eventually be connected to the internet.  The network that already connects us will also connect our devices, and our cats.  Enabled by Microsoft's Big Compute capabilities, our goal is to push the frontiers of computing: we want to provide greater access to High Performance Computing (HPC), to more devices, and more species.

Enough human talk; let's look at some examples, adhering to v1.2 of the LOLCODE specification.  This is the canonical "hello world" in MPI LOLBINDINGS:

HAICAN HAS MPI?MPI_HAIBTW Lines beginning with "BTW" are commentsBTW MPI's "Communicator" translates to "catinator"I HAS A ME ITS MPI_CATZ_RANK MPI_CATZ_WORLDI HAS A BIGNIS ITS MPI_CATZ_SIZE MPI_CATZ_WORLDVISIBLE "HAI WORLD! ME IZ " ME " OF " BIGNISMPI_KTHXBYEKTHXBYE

And here's the traditional "compute Pi in parallel" example in MPI LOLBINDINGS:

HAICAN HAS MPI?MPI_HAII HAS A PIE ITZ 3.141592653589793238462643I HAS A ME ITZ MPI_CATZ_RANK MPI_CATZ_WORLDI HAS A BIGNIS ITZ MPI_CATZ_SIZE MPI_CATZ_WORLDIM IN YR MATHS   I HAS A ITERASHUN   ME IZ 0 O RLY?   YA RLY       VISIBLE "I CAN HAS ITERASHUN?"       GIMMEH ITERASHUN   OIC   MPI_BCATZ ITERASHUN 1 MPI_NUMBR 0 MPI_CATZ_WORLD   BOTH SAEM ITERASHUN AN 0, O RLY?       YA RLY, GTFO   OIC   I HAS A H ITZ QUOSHUNT OF 1.0 AN ITERASHUN   I HAS A REZULT ITZ 0.0   I HAS A COUNT ITZ ME   IM IN YR LOOP       I HAS A TMP ITZ PRODUKT OF H AN SUM OF COUNT AN 0.5       REZULT R SUM OF REZULT AN QUOSHUNT OF 4.0 AN SUM OF 1.0 AN ...            PRODUKT OF TMP AN TMP       COUNT R SUM OF COUNT AN BIGNIS       BOTH SAEM COUNT AN BIGGR OF COUNT AN ITERASHUN, O RLY?           YA RLY, GTFO       OIC   IM OUTTA YR LOOP   REZULT R PRODUKT OF H AN REZULT   BOTH SAEM ME AN 0, O RLY?   YA RLY       MPI_REDUSEZ MPI_IN_PLACEZ REZULT 1 MPI_NUMBAR SUM 0 MPI_CATZ_WORLD       VISIBLE "YUR PIE IZ " AN REZULT AN " ERRORZ IZ " AN ...            FABZ DIFF OF REZULT AN PIE   NO WAI       MPI_REDUSEZ REZULT ZZZ 1 MPI_NUMBAR SUM 0 MPI_CATZ_WORLD   OICIM OUTTA YR MATHSMPI_KTHXBYEKTHXBYE

We here at CATP are excited to see the potential of MPI LOLBINIDINGS, especially as we venture into the era of exascale computing.  To that end, CATP engineers will present the LOLBINDINGS proposal to the MPI Forum for inclusion in MPI-4 (a.k.a. MPI4CATZ).

Kthxbye.