If you were one of the millions of people who watched Netflix's The Tinder Swindler, you may have shaken your head in wonder at how women could be allegedly hoodwinked out of millions of dollars. 

Surely they should have known better, some say. In reality, it's not that simple. 

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People fall for these scams for the same reasons that they fall prey to cold-call scam texts claiming that their loved one is in hospital and fees urgently need to be paid: When emotions are involved, rational thinking can go out of the window.

Simon Leviev, born Shimon Hayut, is an Israeli man accused of conning women in an elaborate pyramid scheme to fund his luxury lifestyle. 

According to the documentary and the women who say they were Leviev's victims, this is how the alleged scam worked: 

Leviev would match with women on the Tinder dating app and take them on luxurious dates, claiming that he was part of a family of billionaires in the diamond business. 

He would pretend interest for an extended time and continue the charade with consistent voice notes, messages, and calls. 

When he believed the woman trusted him enough, he would ask to borrow money, just for a short while. But, of course, his "enemies" were making life difficult and the check was always "on its way."

The funds would then pay for other dates, luxury goods, and travel. As such, you could consider the apparent scam a pyramid, and an unbelievably elaborate one, at that. Leviev has denied the accusations.

Whether or not you consider those involved in this story at fault, there are countless love scams taking place that will never reach the news or become a hit show on a streaming service platform. 

And each one is after yourmoney, assets,orinformation.

Romance scams, by the numbers

According to the US Federal Trade Commission (FTC), romance scams are outstripping every other fraud category in consumer losses. 

In the past five years, consumers reported losses of$1.3 billion, reaching$547 million in 2021 alone -- and this number, in real terms, could be far higher. By age category, victims are often over 60 years old but this bracket is also the least likely to report losses due to romance fraud, according to FTC research (.PDF). 

What are the types of romance scams?

Romance scams continue to evolve, not in a small part due to social media and the popularity of online dating. With our lives becoming increasingly busy, not to mention the COVID-19 pandemic and stay-at-home orders, apps dedicated to online romance -- or casual dating -- have flourished. 

Tinder, Grindr, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, Match, and Hinge are some of the most popular apps out there, and each can be an avenue for scammers to strike. 

Romance scams vary, but they all have one of two purposes: stealing your cash or your information. Scams include:

Outright requests for money: Scammers might start small and even pay you back to build trust. However, it wouldn't be long before they would ask for far more -- and then vanish. 

Requests might be made to purchase a flight or travel to see you, pay off customs charges, buy a new laptop or phone to keep communicating with you, pay outstanding medical bills, among other things. 

Your scammer may also say they are expecting a cash gift or an inheritance, so they ask to 'borrow' money for a short while. 

An emergency or disaster: For some, being a romance scammer is a full-time job, so spending time building trust with multiple victims is simply part of their working day. 

Suppose enough of an emotional connection is cruelly created, and then they say there is a sudden emergency. There's been an accident, they are in trouble and their physical safety is threatened, or they are in hospital with looming medical bills. 

This can create enough of a panic that the victim sends cash without a second thought, as the fraudster has already taken the time to build up trust. 

Members of the military: The military scam is a popular one. A profile is set up with fake images -- often the stolen photos of actual soldiers -- and the use military jargon, titles, and known army deployment areas to appear more plausible. 

They may say they are either just about to ship out or are soon to return and may also try to add some mystery by refusing to give details in the name of confidentiality. 

A personal example of a military scam:

I spoke to someone on Tinder in 2019 who said he was part of the US military. At the time, I'd had my fill of catfish and scammers, so I decided to have some fun and see how long I could drag it out. 

My romance scammer, set with all-American-boy photos, was apparently based in Afghanistan on deployment but would be "coming home soon" to the UK. 

After shifting to a secondary, throwaway WhatsApp number, he said he would ask his "commanding officer" for permission to video chat. Playing along with it, I was sent a video of a soldier saying hello.  

I'd asked him to say my name in it to prove that it was real-time footage. This, of course, didn't happen. 

The footage was the type of generic clip you'd find on TikTok, but if you weren't on the lookout for red flags, it could have been believable and considered genuine. 

It wasn't long before he said he was running out of phone credit but he really wanted to keep talking to me. So he asked to "borrow"