Let's talk reality distortion.

Reality distortion is quite a popular topic these days, what with our reality being bent into all shorts of shapes by the likes of the Apple Vision Pro. 

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But reality distortion has a much longer history, especially when it comes to tech and the way it's marketed.

Why, in 1981 it was Apple's then-vice president of software, Bud Tribble, who used the phrase to describe Steve Jobs's charisma.

Since that time, so many rival tech types have used the phrase -- to express their constant frustration at Apple's ability to persuade ordinary people that its wares are somehow special.

"But they don't have the features that others do," they whined. Ah, but they did have the marketing -- which, dare I suggest, lay more in the products' design than in any single ad.

Still, most ad agencies in the world believe Apple's marketing communications are the apogee of genius.

Please, then, let me emphasize one little thing about this alleged genius -- it doesn't use exclamation points.

Explaining the exclaiming

I sense you think I'm being devious, pedantic, or painfully picky, but this is something that's bothered me for a very long time.

Why do some tech marketers use exclamation points on their websites? What effect do they think those exclamation points will have on customers? And, well, what does an exclamation point even mean?

I confess I grew up in a culture -- the one on the other side of the Atlantic -- that preferred to talk without moving its lips, rather than emitting any form of exclamation.

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When I moved to America, I noticed that people here were a touch more excitable. Sometimes for better, sometimes for less better.

Yet I just turned to Apple's home page to see the company touting its MacBook Pro with these words: "Mind-blowing. Head-turning." Words that surely suggest a high level of excitement. 

Yet no need for an exclamation point because, presumably, you already get the point. Or, at least, Apple assumes that you do. Somehow, an exclamation point isn't necessary. It exclaims that you're trying too hard.

But some tech companies still insist that their wares deserve some sort of exclamatory explanatory. It's a truly interesting phenomenon.

The big startup exclamatory experiment

As an experiment, I discovered a list of America's top 100 startups to watch and meticulously went through their websites to see whether they used exclamation points.

The majority eschewed the need to puncutate their excitement. 

I have no interest in pointing fingers, but here's one of the top 100 startups, Mobilyze, exclaiming: "Let's find a profitable EV charging station now!" Which it follows with: "Ready to find profitable sites? Drop us a line!"

Does the presence of those exclamation points add anything? Or might it even put you off, just a little? Does this company feel too keen, too excitable?

This was especially confusing as the site's home page was suitably measured: "Find profitable sites for EV charge points in minutes." Which would seem a more exciting idea than, say, "Drop us a line!"

This list of top 100 startups comprised all sorts of companies in all sorts of markets.

Diaper company HelloBello, for example, offers this: "Rock the diaper change game!" And the subhead: "Subscribe for exclusive access to super cute diaper designs!"

The company is, in fact, marginally uncontrollable when it comes to exclamation points. Even the mundane "Find us at a store near you!" gets one.

The longer this experiment took, the more curious I became. It was as if some brands had chosen to speak a slightly different language.

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Language-learning company Babbel, for example, ululated: "Start learning a new language today!"

Will shouting at me help? Will it make me more enthused? What's "calm down" in Italian?

Babbel, I'm baffled.

I discovered that some cosmetics startups love exclamation points and others simply don't.

I learned that farming tech startups have lofty goals, but not always lofty voices. For example, this from farm management startup XFarm: "Let's change the way of farming together." Measured, wise.

Until, that is, they want you to "Join Agriculture 4.0!" And "Digitize your farm in less than 10 minutes!"

Oh!

The majority knows it's serious

Please, I'm not trying to be negative. I'm genuinely confused.

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I was, however, reassured by how many companies followed the Apple way of measured online communication. (No, I wouldn't call Apple launch events measured, by the by.)

Kids' learning company Tiny Tap pleasingly offered: "Replace YouTube staring with educational games." 

I'm sure the management is excited about its product. I'm sure the product offers exciting capabilities and results. 

I'm equally sure that the lack of an exclamation point makes the products seem more, well, serious and important.

Sell, don't shout

Perhaps you don't have such a visceral reaction to such things. Perhaps you feel that the exclamation point is an everyday -- if not always meaningful -- element of contemporary communication.

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But I'm trying to be helpful here. If you're thinking about an exclamation point on your website, please first consider how you think it helps. Or is it merely there to show how excited you are, without regard for how it might make the reader feel?

The top 100 startups have spoken, though. The majority don't feel the need to exclaim. Not even when they have LeBron James advertising their wares, as does all-in-one exercise machine Tonal.

Ultimately, people don't really care about your product. It's your job to intrigue, fascinate, and make them feel something unusual.

Does an exclamation point do that? Or do you merely think ululating attracts attention?

Also: Could the Apple Vision Pro make you like flying economy class (or hate it a little less)?

Your product may, indeed, be mind-blowing and head-turning, but let it speak a little more for itself.

It worked for Apple. (I'm not sure the opposite worked quite so well for Yahoo!)

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